Surprise!
by YourAverageObsessiveGirl
Summary: Jack thinks the other member's of SG1 are hiding something from him. So, naturally, his first guess is the apocalypse? Oneshot


**Uhm...well...I kinda wrote this one for my mom (Heh, yeah Mom, I just announced you like stargate :P), because, in all honesty, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.**

**Kinda an early happy birthday thing for Jack O'Neil.**

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"Something special happening today?"

It would've been an average day at the SGC, if three members of SG1 hadn't been acting strangely secretive. Now, Jack O'Neil wasn't concerned much for Teal'c, it wasn't all too out of character for him, but the exchanged glances between, Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, and their alien teammate had started to raise Jack's suspicion's.

"What do you mean, sir?" Carter inquired politely, tilting her head to side curiously.

Jack frowned suspiciously; Carter had the slightly worried look of a child who was close to getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"You know, like special plans, cult events" The colonel elaborated. Then he paused before asked, sounding vaguely nervous, "If the apocalypse was coming, you'd tell me, right?"

Teal'c quirked an eyebrow from across the table. Although this could mean anything, Jack was fairly certain this meant he was questioning his previous statement.

The whole of SG1 was sitting in the cafeteria, with Jack being the only one with food in front of him. Grape Jell-o to be precise.

"Apocalypse?" Teal'c questioned.

Daniel, who had been staring patiently at the table for the better part of the conversation, turned to stare at Teal'c with his head cocked to the side.

"Y'know, doomsday, end of the world, chaos, death. Kaboom" Jack explained, waving his hands in the air to try and demonstrate an explosion, but it ended up more like the hand flourishes people perform in musicals. Jazz-hands, as they were more commonly known.

Daniel spoke up, "Technically Jack, the apocalypse is referring to the Christian or Jewish writings a cosmic cataclysm in which God destroys the ruling powers of evil."

Jack pursed his lips slightly. Wasn't that what he had just said?

Daniel had that light in his eyes that would pop up whenever he began talking about something he had once read. It was only a matter of time, Jack knew, before he would be sprouting facts that not even the makers of Trivial Pursuit would know.

Meaning Jack had to cut him off now.

"Honestly Daniel, what the hell are you? A walking encyclopedia?" Jack blurted out.

Daniel scowled slightly at the colonel.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, for his outburst had attracted others attentions, Jack repeated himself, "Is their something going on today that I don't know about."

Maybe it was just the crappy fluorescent lighting, but to Jack it appeared the both Daniel and Sam paled slightly.

And there went another one of those looks.

And then it hit Jack. They were planning something.

But what?

"Well, its Evaluate Your Life day" Daniel stated, a little too quickly.

"I don't even want to know how you know that" Jack shook his head. No wonder he could never beat Daniel at games of Trivial Pursuit.

Suddenly, Teal'c shoved his chair back and stood up. The remaining three SG1 members jumped slightly, having in no way seen this move coming and were startled when Teal'c was suddenly towering above them.

"Daniel Jackson, do we not have a place to be?" Teal'c queried stoically.

Daniel leapt up. "Oh, oh r-right, place to be" He twittered away, casting several, slightly worried glances at Jack.

Jack, in turned, cocked his head to the side and fixed the archeologist with a confused stare.

"Well, excuse us sir" Carter excused herself, polite and formal as always as she stood up and left the room with Daniel and Teal'c.

Jack was left sitting alone, left to ponder what his teammates were planning but with no course of action planned. That was until he realized that sitting and thinking wasn't going to help him discover the other's plan. Unless it fell out of the sky and hit him.

As a quick afterthought, he looked up to the roof and hoped nothing would fall out of the sky and hit him.

Just to be safe, Jack left the room. Now left to wander the halls of the SGC he pondered his course of action.

After walking for the better part of the hour, Jack finally had a plan.

He would just sneak (Not 'break' that sounded illegal. And he wasn't going to break anything, unless he had too) into one of the three's living quarters.

But who's?

Teal'c probably wouldn't have anything about it. Unless they were trying to play mind games on the colonel by leaving everything in Teal'c's room.

Creasing his brow, Jack frowned. He was obviously thinking too much.

Carter would be too smart to leave anything lying around. Besides, if Jack went into her room it would look inappropriate.

Which left Daniel. The archeologist was the only one stupid enough to leave stuff lying around.

Jack made a sharp turn, nearly bumping into Walter on his way to the cafeteria.

"S-sorry sir" Walter stammered, recovering his balance and stumbling by.

Jack quirked an eyebrow. What was up with everyone? Why were they all acting so panicked?

A paranoid voice in the back of Jack's head was starting to whisper "The apocalypse."

Jack ignored it. After all, if the apocalypse was to happen he was fairly certain he'd be on the committee that was going to head of to stop it.

At least he hoped he would be.

Just as he reached Daniel's room and his hand reached out for a door, a deep voice with a slight Texan accent began talking to Jack, "Colonel, I can assure you that Daniel Jackson's not in there. Besides colonel, I have a bit of a surprise for you."

Wheeling around, Jack partially scowled. He hated surprises.

"This way colonel" General Hammond made a vague gesture in the direction Walter had scurried off towards before turning and waddling on his way.

Jack trailed behind him warily, suddenly noticing how quiet the SGC seemed.

It was…unnerving.

They were heading towards the cafeteria, Jack realized. This raised the question: why?

As the doors were opened, Jack squinted to try and see into the blackness of the room.

Why were the lights off?

As soon as Jack could realize one option that made sense, the lights flashed on, stunning the colonel.

"SURPRISE!" A loud chorus of voices cheered.

Jack tensed, hand instinctively reaching down to find that his gun holster was not there. Oh, how he hated surprises.

Clearly out numbed by the guests of the surprise party, Jack sighed in defeat and examined the cafeteria.

Streamers were strung around clumsily, and a large "Happy Birthday" sign was hanging in the middle of the ceiling. Although someone had obviously had to acknowledge the fact it was a day early for a party, for someone had clumsily taped a 'early' between 'Happy' and 'Birthday'.

Then his eyes were drawn to the cake. Samantha, Daniel and Teal'c stood around it.

Carter had a warm smile plastered over her face; Daniel looked happy, and vaguely amused at Jack's scowl. Teal'c remained stoic as always.

"Happy birthday!" They continued to chorus, some throwing in a 'colonel' a 'sir', 'O'Neil', or, for the more daring, 'Jack'.

The cake was in the shape of a beer-bellied, yellow-skinned T.V character that Jack O'Neil knew oh too well.

Homer Simpson.

"Who made the cake?" Jack queried, knowing that no one on his team possessed the baking skills to make such a large, well-designed cake.

As a hand raised slowly, Jack's gaze shifted over to….Walter, whose expression was a mixture of pride, and shame.

Jack smiled a smile that was more of a smirk before asking, "Did anyone bring beer?"

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**I'm not sure how good this is, I'm not really a reader of stargate fics..so yeah.**

**R&R**

**-Y.A.O.G**


End file.
